Thursday, October 12, 2006


There are a few things that turn an ordinary spy into a super spy.

#1 Being lowered into a pool of sharks by an evil mastermind who hates you deeply (but smiles warmly at you).
#2 The evil mastermind is holding a fluffy animal (in this case a white bunny rabbit)
#3 He has a beautiful female sidekick with uncomfortable levels of testosterone running through her veins.

If you have these 3 + nuclear warheads launching in the background, you've whipped up a fantastic piece of nart.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


This beauty speaks for itself, so I'll be brief.

In fact, why don't we describe the success of this piece with a few lines of code:

totallyAwesomeness = machineguns + skinlessCyborgMuscleMonsters + int(tentacles) + ["razorblades" + "Blue jeans"];

totallyAwesomeness*= sternoclydomastoid._xscale;

if (machinegun == head){totallyAwesomeness*=1000000;}

Based on this formula, the totallyawesomeness of this image easily reaches into the billions.

Monday, October 09, 2006


Aaaaahhhh . . . nothing like the sweet smell of new nart to start your day. Just pulled this one fresh off the forums at

The beauty of this piece lies in its subtle homage to the classic symbology of the human skull. But wait something is a little out of the ordinary here, hey, those arn't cross bones! Those are golf clubs! Truly a masterful application of phychological illusion.

Not only does this work of nart include fantastic worship of 0,255,0 green smoke, but it also continues the faithful use of subtle airbrush driven shadows.

The smoke is topped perhaps only by the puffy ball on top of the traditional golfer's hat. It sits there 255,255,255 as if to say, I am an innocent hat, don't mind the glowing green eyes of my owner, I won't hurt you . . .

Friday, October 06, 2006


Another priceless piece from the desktoporama vaults.

The Nart tradition continues with flawlessly soft airbrush shadows, but adds the subtle glow of airbrushed highlights. Green emotes many emotions, but in this work the feeling is one of dread and forboding.

The beautiful cat woman is embraced by her stoic cat man arrior lover, but is she satisfied with her romantic lead? No she looks out of her world and into ours pleading for rescue from her doomed habitat.

But wait, what is that in the distance, silouhetted against the army green sky? IS it the birds, yes it's the birds come to save us all from our greenery and gloom . . .

Thursday, October 05, 2006


This is a classic from the official nart vaults here at desktoporama. This gorgeous painting single handedly contains the quintessential values of good nart.

1. "Fresh" style uncontaminated by heavy handed traditional conventions. The obligatory use of color is accented through slight value shifted airbrush driven shadows. these are especially evident on the leg of the focal character - the bleeding woman. The image preaches devotion to vanishing point perspective, while magnificently defying it's companion - atmospheric perspective. The selective use of cast shadows gives the scene that perfect blend, grounding the bleeding woman, while floating her enemies and the motorcycle.

2. Engaging, but open narrative. The heroin sits motionless against her bike . . . bleeding, but alive, while her pursuers lay lifeless and shadowless in the crystal clear distance. Is she trying to escape the dangerous city, or flee her forsaken home. The 0,0,128 blue pants coupled with the 0,128,128 blue shirt peg her as an obvious servant of the local law enforcement. Is she a seasoned veteran or simply a meter maid caught in the web of the crime loards croanies. And in the background, the fingers of total destruction emerge from the underworld to pull the city into its depths of despair. In the shadow of this collossal phelange, does the plight of our traffic cop really matter? No it does not, not to most of us, but to the painter of this story, the slow dripping death of one unlucky cop and two floating thugs is where the attention of the audience belongs . . .

Wednesday, October 04, 2006


This gem hales from, one of my favorite sources of good nart.

The glossy eyes exuding a tearless state of sorrow and empty hope contrast the meticulously manicured mane and twice tied tail. The crystal crown and gilded name plate silently mock the fallen fate of an ugly dog / monkey.

Who's eyes look down to meet the gaze of the pitiful pup? Despite the sideways stare I feel the orbs boring into my soul as I contemplate the horrible humiliation suffered by the subject. Only a monster would attempt to beautify such an animal, but it took a saint to paint this image of intrepid depth and meaning.