Tuesday, August 07, 2007

SUNDAY DRIVE

Despite the technical merit of this nartarific painting (which was very nearly excluded from my realm of interest) the story it contains more than makes up for the overly proficient execution, and convinces me to display it here as a great example of desktoporama nart.

At first the narrative is confusing and any attempt to interpret the scene raises more questions than answers. Why are these rubber-suit monsters burning the family car? Why are the children standing there watching them instead of running away? Are the monsters their friends? What happened to the driver(s) / parents?

But before we can attempt to address any of these inquiries with confidence, we must ponder the title of the piece, "Sunday Drive".

Ponder with me for a moment...

Have we reached the same conclusion? No doubt. Simple logic leads us to the answer behind this enigmatic scene of despair. What is the most significant element of the deftly chosen title? Would you choose "Sunday" as the dominant principle, or "Drive"? Clearly days of the week are more important than any one vehicle or a ride in a vehicle, so "Sunday" is the dominant theme here.

And what should we do on Sundays? Go for pleasure rides in fancy cars in the middle of the desert? NO! We should be at Church and be spending time at home with our families! Given this tasty treat of lovely logic, the narrative puzzle starts to take form. Obviously these little kids went out on a joy ride when they should be at church, so some fire demons showed up to teach them a lesson, but just as hope might leave us there is one last shimmering possibility in the resigned and mature pose of the children.

"Why aren't you at church demons guys?" they might ask, but the demons have lots of jaw thingies and probably can't talk without blowing stuff up.

So they admit they've been bad, and they accept their loss, and hope for a better day where they can drive freely without fire demons burning their car.

So in my closing conclusion at the end of this review, if I had to summarize the message in fewer words it would be, "That's why you never go for joy rides on Sunday kids, because fire demons will blow up your car".


Friday, August 03, 2007

IN THE FUTURE, WE WILL WEAR METAL UNDERWEAR


This piece exemplifies the quintessential sci-fi nart work. Like so many nasterpieces it is the content more than the quality that earn this baby a place in the nart halls of desktoporama fame.

It also betrays many secrets of our super shiny tech savy future.

In the future we will all wear metal underwear, except for the really unusual aliens which will wear metal shoulder pads with no underwear at all. Because metal underwear is really heavy, metal suspenders will not be uncommon.

Another observation of note is that the metal underwear will often be worn on the outside of our skin tight jumpsuits.

PS all aliens reguardless of their anti-human anatomy will have totally ripped abs and pecs, because all nart-worthy sci-fi characters have pecs and abs.