Tuesday, September 16, 2008


Nart is an aquired taste, kind of like seeweed and also kind of like 3 r's of feeling. At first glance one might feel feelings of repulsion feelings, rebelion feelings, and radicalness feelings, but if you force yourself to eat it enough times, then wait a few years, then your brain says to you, "hey I remember that stuff!" and before it can say "It was really disgusting" (or to use on of our motif feelings "repulsive") it is in your mouth and you are tricked into thinking you are eating memories.

Sometimes I wonder if I am just trying to relive my bleeding skull robot + Aliens vs Predator middle school study hall drawing days. Every time I find a good piece of nart it takes me back to those golden years. I can still hear the jocks, " dude can you draw me a skull with awesome snakes going through the eyes? Sweetness, now turn it into a cobra" - got to get those fangs just right!

But enough of my past, now let us look to the future portrayed here in all it's glory.

Sure we started occupying Nippon back after WWII, so this fight isn't likely to happen anytime soon. But someday our government is going to realize that it would be way cooler than WWII if we could have planepeople soldiers dog fighting and kunfu fighting at the same time. That could really get the ratings up for CNN.

The only thing is, the American version puts in a useless head with cool hair. Too much fluff if you ask me the Japanese have got it right with the propeller instead of hair.

Sure you might be thinking that Jpop's skinny wings wouldn't stand a chance against Amerible Hulk's propeller arm, but lets walk through this fight step by step...

1. Amerible Hulk smacks Jpop with his prop arm

2. Jpop loses a chunk of arm or leg or something

3. Amerible Hulk's propeller doesn't work after it gets all bent up

4. Amerible HUlk: " aggggghhahghhghghghhhhh h h h h h h "...


Meanwhile Jpop shifts his weight a bit to compensate for his torn cargo pants and flys on home with that propeller head of his.

We are so totally dead...

Diving Into Oblivion

If you were a cyborg fire demon (and if you had upside down wings), and you had just given some little imps a magical potion, the next thing you would do is dive into the beautiful sunset.

Now let us explore below the surface of this colorful work of nart, after all to find answers one must ask questions. And just to understand the nasterpiece a little better, let's chose a character's perspective from which to ponder this painting.

I choose, the diver.

Q1: Why did I give these little guys my potion.

Q2: Why are my wings on upside down?

Q3: Where is my brain?

Q4: Where am I going?

A1: 255,0,255 just doesn't go too well with 255,0-255,0

A2: See A3.

A3: Obviously it is gone.

A4: The posture would indicate some kind of liquid that I am intending to enter, but none is visible from the view angle the painter chose, forcing me to make you, the viewer, believe in water, or lava, (since I am a fire demon, I can probably swim in fire). Do you believe me, do you believe there is there a good swimming hole somewhere in that vast expanse of super dodged sunset? Do you believe my thighs as they bend in anticipation of my lava's leap? If not look again and remember that my thighs are very spike covered and awesome.

Now do you believe me?

That's what I thought.

A4 - version b: I am just petting this mountain here, don't mind my pose.